Crying Without the Tears
by GreenFire65
Summary: McGee's gone through the death of a co-worker before. But when he has to go through it again, how will he handle it? And who will be there to help him if the person who was always there for him is no longer alive?  *Alteration of Episode: Bury Your Dead*
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: Ugh.  
>I hate it when I do this.<br>I get this idea, and I tell myself I won't start it until I finish True Brothers, but when I realized how long I'm actually planning on making True Brothers, I knew I wouldn't be able to wait that long...  
>So, (obviously) this story relies <em>heavily<em> on the fact that you have seen the episode: Bury Your Dead I guess it's this story is still able to be understood if you haven't seen it... but I suggest you go watch it anyways.  
>Trust me. You won't regret it.<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or any of the characters mentioned in this story. I only own the story.**

**Unfortunately.  
><strong>

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

"He's on 22nd street, northwest, just outside Monroe University Hospital." Tim responded blankly as he slammed the door behind, quickly walking to MTAC with one clear objective in mind.

"He's on the move." Shepard responded. McGee glanced at the projector in front of him, the red diamond in the middle moving at a quick pace.

"He must be in a car."

"How long until we get Satellite coverage?"

"At least fifteen minutes…" Tim responded as he glanced down towards the ground. "Or!" He quickly continued as he saw Gibbs make his way towards him. "We could patch our way into D.C.'s traffic cam system. See if we can locate him on the traffic cameras."

"Do it." Gibbs commanded tersely as he moved back to his chair. Tim nodded before taking a seat down next to Ziva.

"Anything?" Jenny questioned.

"Still not answering." Ziva responded as she angrily held the phone to her right ear. "Shall I try his undercover cell phone?"

"Put it on speaker."

A dial rang throughout the room, and was then immediately followed by a curtain call sounding fanfare.

_'Hi, you've reached Professor Tony DiNardo. Please leave your message and I will get back to you. I promise.' _

Tim smiled as the phone disconnected. He missed that voice.

"His cover is teaching film online at an American University."

"Tony? A teacher?"

"No wonder he's been compromised." Tim responded. If Tony wasn't here, then he needed to act as the clown. "Who's bright idea was that?"

"Mine." Jenny responded sharply.

Tim glanced at Jenny, thankful that a beeping had been able to distract their attention.

"Oh, we're in."

"Bring it up." Jenny responded, glancing at the big screen against the back wall in the middle of the room.

With two clicks of the mouse, Tim pulled it up for all to see. With some keystrokes, they quickly zoomed in on Tony's car.

"Got it. Relaying his cell phone signal…" Tim explained as more keyboard taps filled the air. He quickly zoomed in to the green vehicle approaching the camera.

"Tony's car." Ziva stated. McGee froze the image and quickly zoomed into the license plate, then began tapping it into search records.

"Tony DiNardo's car." Tim replied with a soft laugh.

"How deep is this cover?" Gibbs questioned from his seat.

"Deep enough to withstand the scrutiny that Le Grenouille can bring to bear."

"You better hope so." Gibbs replied sharply.

"West on Em Street."

"No one else is in the car with him." Tim risked a glance at the screen to confirm Jenny's statement.

"Turning North onto 29th Street." He needed to stay calm, relaxed… professional.

"Cell phone's still off." Jenny explained bitterly as she hung up.

"No one seems to be tailing him."

"Maybe he's doing the tailing…" Gibbs stood up as he walked towards Jenny.

"He's going off of 29th…"

A sharp gasp interrupted his statement, and pulled his attention away from his keyboard and up towards the screen.

The diamond marking Tony was there, however, instead of floating above a car, it was hovering over a flaming ball of wreckage.

Explosion.

Tony's car exploded.

"Oh my God." Jenny breathed sharply.

Tim turned to her before turning back to the screen.

He was stunned to the point of silence.

_Tony…_ The single name raced across his mind as a lone tear slid down his face, unnoticed by the others.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: What'd you think? Yay? Nay?<strong>

**Any and all reviews/watches/favorites are greatly appreciated! **


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I felt like I couldn't leave you guys hanging on the Prologue for too long! I'm trying to keep this as close to the episode as possible (until, of course, the drastic 180), but we will see how well that goes, hm?**

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

Paramedics and Fire trucks filled the street. Police cars were lined up to stop pedestrians form advancing. The black car that him, Ziva, Gibbs, and Jenny were in came to a stop as they approached the scene.

None of those vehicles mattered, however.

There was only one car that did.

Tony's car.

Slowly, they all got out.

First Gibbs, then Jenny, then Ziva.

He remained in the car at first, not wanting to step out and see the wreckage past the car window.

With a steadying sigh, he reluctantly stepped out of the car door.

He made it about halfway between the car they were driving in and Tony's car before he had to stop himself and stand sorrowfully next to Ziva.

The car barely resembled its former self.

To Tim, it was nothing more then a black piece of metal.

The important part was what was located inside the car.

"McGee."

Tim hadn't heard his name. His mind was too focused on the hellish scene in front of him.

Tony DiNozzo… gone?

No, it couldn't be.

Tony was his Senior Field Agent, he wouldn't screw up… he couldn't… **die**.

Die.

The word was painful to think of.

Die.

Death.

Deceased.

No more.

"McGee!" He turned to Gibbs, who simply jerked his head in the direction of the charred remains.

Tim took a step, stopped, and then braced himself before walking the rest of the way.

Once he approached the car, he slowly took out his camera before walking up to Tony-

The **body**.

The **unidentified and unnamed **body.

Tim hesitatingly brought the camera to his face before snapping two pictures.

He leaned in close, suppressing the urge to violently throw the camera and break down in tears and took two more.

He glanced at the charred body in front of him.

_Tony… _The name resurfaced in his mind.

He walked over to the other side, and stopped himself when he noticed a phone, no longer of use. He snapped two pictures of the phone.

"Hey." He heard Jenny's voice to his left. He turned.

"That some sort of timer device?" McGee glanced at the object with a burning hatred before taking one photo of it.

"Yeah." McGee replied bitterly. "10 bucks in most electrical stores. Probably activated when the ignition turned on. Counts down however long you need it to, and when it reaches zero…" He trailed off, turning his head away from Jenny and the bomb.

_When it reached zero… Tony died._

_ No! The man in the car died!_

"Shockwave would've killed him before the fire." Ducky stated. "Death would've been instantaneous."

Was that supposed to make anyone feel better?

Because it certainly didn't help the twisting feeling in his stomach.

"Small mercies… my dear boy."

"Identification?"

Tim grimaced away from the conversation.

"General build, height, weight are about right. Most of the epidermis and dermis of the fingers have been burned off, so no fingerprints. We'll need to get his dental records for positive identification. I mean; is there any chance that it's not Tony?"

Tim shot the M.E. a glare from behind the car.

Was he the only one trying to be positive here?

"None… that I can think of." He heard Jenny reply before walking away. He glanced to the front of the car to notice Ziva, looking more depressed then he's ever seen her. He slowly walked over to her as she kept taking pictures.

Whether she didn't notice him or was ignoring him, Tim didn't know.

"You believe in miracles, Ziva?"

"Not part of my training…" Ziva replied softly. Tim glanced away.

Why didn't anyone else believe in Tony?

"It might not be Tony." Tim stated, trying to spark some flame in his teammate. She looked away as she handed him another burned object.

He bit back a gasp when he saw it.

A driver's license.

The body's…

No. **Tony's **driver's license.

He gave her back the vile object, unable to look at the cheesy smile on the license.

Tony's smiling face... his license... at the scene of the crime?

No! He couldn't believe it!

Tony was… Tony wasn't…

_Tony…_

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I guess I should say this in advance... um, I apoligize for any OOC-ness that lies within this story. It's always hard for me to guess how drastically the people would react in a situation, and that tends to lead me to make them out-of-character. I will try my best to avoid it, but keeping characters in character has never been one of my strong suits.<strong>

**Anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

__**Any and all reviews/favorites/ and watches are greatly appreciated! :D**


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Figured I would update both of my stories before I left for my week long vacation.  
>Which is something I should probably mention quick.<br>I don't think I'll have internet while I'm on vacation.**  
><strong>I can use my brother's laptop to type, but, unfortunately, I can't upload.<strong>  
><strong>And with that, I hope you enjoy.<strong> 

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

The constant clicking was driving him nuts.

The sickening scene that he kept replaying on the screen made his stomach churn.

He wanted to stop, to turn off the video and to believe it wasn't true.

But he couldn't stop. He had to do this.

For Tony's sake.

"Must you keep doing that?" Ziva questioned, annoyed, as McGee felt her gaze narrow in on him.

He swallowed before responding.

"Just checking up on something Gibbs said." He paused before continuing both his actions and his speech.

"Tony wouldn't have carried it with him, you know? His shield and I.D… not if he was undercover! He would've… stashed it in the car… maybe under his seat." He turned back to the screen. "Just because we found his I.D. doesn't mean its Tony."

Tim knew that with all of this hope he carried, he would be the most crushed if it were Tony. But he ignored it; he had to trust Tony.

"His car. His I.D. His weapon. Both of his cell phones, McGee?" Ziva replied with a voice void of all emotion. McGee sighed before sitting down.

She sure knew how piss a hopeful person off.

Realizing the answer wouldn't be found in the clips of the explosion, he quickly rewound the footage with renewed hope.

"What was it that Gibbs said that you thought needed checking?" Ziva questioned as she walked up to him.

"He thought that Tony might be tailing someone."

He bit his tongue. He just admitted that Tony was the one in the car!

He slowly played the video forward.

"Stop it there!" Ziva gasped as she pointed towards the screen. He paused. "Take it back."

Slowly, frame-by-frame, he reversed the flow of time.

"The limousine! It was on the previous camera!"

Tim pulled up each camera Tony had passed.

_The __**person in the car**__ passed. _He mentally corrected himself.

"It's on every camera!" Ziva exclaimed.

"He's following that limousine." McGee replied understandingly as he hurried towards his desk.

"Where is Gibbs?"

"The limousine is leased to a Shell Company. The head company is Urophrite." Ziva began as the plasma screen was frozen on a picture of the car.

"Their head office is in Luxonburg."

"The principal behind the company is Le Grenouille."

"Tony could've been following Le Grenouille." Tim concluded bitterly as he turned to Gibbs.

Damn it! He did it again!

"I'm sorry to sound negative, but I believe Timothy is right." Ducky said morbidly as he slowly walked up to them. They turned, his face having a grim expression.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I am so sorry.<br>I forgot how big of a cliffhanger this chapter was...  
>Sorry.<br>I'll upload the second I get back if I don't get internet connection, and if I do (although I doubt it), I'll try to update as soon as I can.**

** Regardless, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**In the meantime, Reviews/ Watches/ Favorites would be a great way to get into the holiday spirit!  
>... Please?<br>**


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: And after a long (and rather unnecessary) break from the internet, I am here to update once again. I apoligize for leaving this story where I had left it off last chapter, but now I'm back. This is where the story strays from the episode 'Bury Your Dead'.  
>Without furthur ado, Chapter 3. <strong>

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

"Ducky. Don't tell me…"

"Look." Ducky exclaimed, cutting him off before he could go any further. "Tony… contracted pneumonic plague. As I'm sure everyone can remember."

"Before my time?"

"He…" Tim drifted off. "He almost died."

"From severe pneumonia." Ducky finished for him. "As a result, his lung tissue would have been extensively scarred, and I'm afraid that the scarred lungs of the man in autopsy are uncannily similar to the type of scarring that Anthony would have suffered."

The silence loomed after that.

They all knew what to expect, but Tim couldn't take it.

"The man I am performing an autopsy on… is more than likely Tony."

McGee couldn't listen to anymore. His feet quickly carried him to the bathroom, ignoring the protest in his heart.

He stared at the mirror in front of him, his hands pressed weakly against the sink.

His eyes were red, more than he had ever seen them before.

He tried to look calm, normal. But every time he thought he would be OK, another tear would escape past his defenses, and he would once again wipe it off viciously before turning back towards the mirror.

He failed to notice the footsteps that had entered the bathroom.

He failed to notice the man standing beside him.

He failed to notice the arm that clamped his right shoulder.

"Wanna talk?" He turned to Gibbs, whose face barely looked affected.

Had he even shed a single tear yet?

McGee kept silent as he stared back at the reflection.

"You should be proud of yourself." Tim turned towards Gibbs. "Look McGee, you put a lot more faith in Tony than the rest of us had-"

"I was too weak to accept the truth-"

"No. McGee." Gibbs shook his head. "You had faith in your partner when no one else did. That takes a lot of courage and determination." He paused. "I'm sure DiNozzo was grateful."

McGee's eyes snapped open.

His words struck Tim… just not in the way he intended.

"You're right, Gibbs. I do want to talk to someone." He suddenly shoved Gibbs to the side with surprising ease, the elder man barely having enough time to balance himself before he impacted the wall. "Just not you." Tim finished darkly before storming off, knowing exactly where his stomping feet were taking him.

The sudden, aggressive opening of the door left a sharp crack that diminished the silence.

"Agent McGee-" Jenny said startled. McGee slammed the door behind him.

"This is your fault!"

"McGee, let me explain-" He marched up to her, eyes glaring death at the woman sitting behind the desk in front of him.

"No! I'm fed up with this bullcrap! The only reason he's dead is because you can't tell the difference between your personal matters and official N.C.I.S. business! Because you refused to tell us Tony was on an undercover assignment, no one was there to watch his damn back! That's him on the autopsy table downstairs, and you know it!"

"McGee, I'm so-"

"I don't want to hear it." He growled softly as he glared at her with fierceness he did not know he possessed in his cold, green eyes. "I'll never forgive you," he whispered coldly as he stormed out of the office. He closed to elevator door behind him, not waiting for anyone else, while the sound of his sobs echoed in the empty room that seemed as almost empty as his heart.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I've said this earlier and I'll say it again. I REALLY apologize about any OOC-ness in this story. I've been working evtra hard to try avoiding it... but... hence the word 'tried'.<strong>

**Reviews/Favorites/Watches are greatly appreciated! I hope you all enjoyed!**


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry! My editor got this really sick virus for, like, a week or two, and I really didn't want her to work until she got better, and I just couldn't bring myself to upload something until she edits it... same thing goes for my other story. Luckily, she's better now, so we should gradually be back to speed. **

**Don't want to make you guys wait any longer, so, here we go.**

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

Jenny Shepard had given them the rest of the week off.

To do what?

Sit on his couch (he couldn't make the effort to take himself to the bed) and remember every second of time he spent with Tony?

It was horrible for him to think this way, but Tony's death caused him more pain than Kate's. There wasn't a way he could've gotten to Kate on time, but Tony- was there something he could have done? If he'd pressed for information on Tony's whereabouts- was it possible that Tony could still be here?

He groaned loudly before slamming his beer bottle onto the table and falling back against the couch.

"Even in death, you're still the only person who can get me drunk, Tony." Tim responded bitterly, glancing slowly at the now four empty bottles in front of him.

_"Should I take that as a compliment?"_

Tim shot up before glancing slowly to his right.

"Great. Not only am I drunk, I'm also delusional." Tim sighed before closing his eyes and shaking his head violently.

_"You think I'm an illusion?" _Tony-

No, the image his head conjured up shook his head before grinning that all too familiar grin.

Tim missed that grin.

_"Wow. I was right to stop by. You're a mess, Probie."_

"Says the dead person." McGee responded, still laughing at himself for coming up with this pathetic trick of mind.

He suddenly felt a hand sharply slap the back of his head. He glanced up, startled.

"You're not a hallucination…"

_"Damn right, McPsychic." _Tony replied with that grin stretched throughout his face.

That grin… no doubt about it.

It was Tony.

No scratches, cuts, or burns from the fire. Just him in a usual outfit he wore to work.

Although, he was black and white, and he seemed to have some sort of misty quality to him.

"So… you're… you're really dead…?" Tim asked.

Tony nodded.

_"Sorry, Probie. Not like I really had a choice in that matter…"_

"I believed in you!" Tim roared, his brain and every other part of his body ignoring his current intoxication. "I thought… I thought…"

_"I know. But, I wanted you to hear it from me." _Tony tapped McGee's forehead softly, making him look back up.

_"It meant a lot to me that you didn't let go. I mean; even boss-man had already given up. But not you. You never did. So, thanks."_

"I only caused myself more pain, and now look what's happened to me..."

"_And you knew that. But regardless, you kept insisting that I was out there, alive. That meant so much to me."_

"Really?" Tony nodded.

_"Really."_

They stayed there, both relaxing in the comfortable silence.

_"I've gotta go, man. I gotta say goodbye to everyone else."_

"You're leaving?" McGee questioned, unsure that if he would ever be able to see the spirit that seemed to be somewhat putting him in a state of calmness if he let him leave.

_"Don't worry, I'm still be here. Just call me when you need me. Take care of yourself, Tim,"_ Tony smiled as he looked over his shoulder. He turned and left through the door, not bothering to open it on his way out. McGee, too exhausted for words, simply laid his head on his pillow to rest.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I really don't want to get into a giant argument about ghosts or supernatural abilities or whatnot. I created this idea specifically for this story, so please do not tell me me that what I have done is wrong or whatever, trust me, I watch enough Ghost Adventures as it is. XD Yes, in this story, ghosts can make physical contact with humans. Freedom to write how I please, I don't think it's gonna be a problem, but please don't tell me how ghosts should and shouldn't act. Thank you, and I hope that you can enjoy the story regardless.<strong>

**Any and all Reviews/ Watches/ Favorites are greatly appreciated! **


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: So, how's everyone New Year so far? Now that break is over, I'm back to focusing on writing.**

**Made a reference to the episode 'Kill Ari Part 1' in this chapter. **

**_Bold and Italics print is for flashbacks._  
><strong>

** Hope you enjoy!  
><strong>

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

The next morning enabled McGee a chance to become better acquainted with the bathroom.

He groaned as he shook his head and slowly moved away, trying his best not to wake the beast that pounded against his skull.

_I'm never going to drink again__… _Tim groaned as he leaned heavily against the back wall, his breathing ragged and raspy, begging for any sort of agreement he could come up with his mind.

Anything to stop this damn headache.

"_Hey, McHangover, how you doing?"_

Tim glanced over to his left.

Great. Two headaches at once.

"Tony, what are you doing here?"

_"Oh, come on, McGee. You seriously think I would skip out on this? This is an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."_

"Don't you mean 'after' lifetime opportunity?" Tim questioned, figuring that if Tony used to be able to joke his way around his emotions, then Tim should be able to as well.

_"Don't think I don't recognize my own trick when I see it, Tim."_ Tony frowned softly. _"Might work on most people, But not on the one who made it up."_ Tim sighed as he turned away. Tony sat next to him before putting a hand on his shoulder.

_"I'm sorry, Tim."_

"You're sorry?" McGee questioned as he spun to face him. "Why are you sorry?"

"_I don't want you to worry. I didn't mean to cause such a fuss…" _Tony trailed off.

"I should be the one who is sorry, Tony. I should be mourning in autopsy right now, but… I-I can't." Tim sorrowfully exclaimed as he looked away. "It was hard enough with Kate, but at least you were there to help me get through it. But now… knowing that it's you down there, knowing you won't there for me… And it's not even you!" Tony turned to him, confused. "That… mass of black chars… it's barely even a human body! At least Kate still looked like herself!" Tim sobbed, pounding the floor in a mix of sadness and frustration. "I'm afraid to go alone…" Tony put a hand on his back comfortingly.

_"Just remember what I said while we were down there…" _Tim heard as the spirit next to him faded away.

_**"The kid was terrified." Tony whispered jokingly into Kate's ear. Tim shot him a glare. "But it took a lot of guts to come down here. Alone." Tim glanced at Tony, before sorrowfully returning his gaze to Kate. "It shows how much he cared for you."**_

How much he cared…

He had only known Kate for about two years, and while his bond with her was deep…

He knew Tony for five.

His bond with him was even deeper. Not a bond of friendship, but rather a bond of brothers.

So then why the hell was it so hard for him to go visit Tony?

If visiting Tony meant that he cared about him, then damn it; he should be down there!

Nodding his head slowly, he glanced towards the front door, barely visible from the bathroom doorway.

That's exactly where he should be right now.

But, damn it, why weren't his feet responding?

Every time he told himself to get up, he crumbled, and he would find himself slamming his back against the wall, as more tears would fall with him onto the ground.

He had to do this… for Tony's sake.

He kept his hand on the wall as he did his best to stand. Slowly, he made his way to the door. He opened the door and glanced over his shoulder before closing it behind him and headed outside, hangover long forgotten about.

Seeing Tony was the only thing on his mind.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Like always, any and all reviews favorites/ watches are greatly appreciated! Hope you enjoyed!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: ... Um, I actually don't have much to say...**

**... Awkward intro...**

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

The door to autopsy slowly slid open.

McGee didn't enter.

He stood at the entrance of the doorway breathing heavily, his hands shaking by his side.

He could either back away from this room and go home…

Or he could face his fear and visit the charred up body of his co-worker and best friend.

Decision being made, he took a step inside, followed by many others, the steps slowly echoing out into empty room.

He silently scanned the names on the freezers until his eyes finally found the one name.

Tony DiNozzo.

He reached a hand out and, hesitantly, grabbed the handle.

Tim breathed slowly.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

And with that…

He let go of the handle.

His eyes glared heavily at the cold rings in front of him.

That one box was keeping him from seeing the closest thing he's ever had to an older brother…

Damn it!

He wasn't to let his fear keep him from doing this!

Finding the will to do so from an unknown force inside him, Tim grabbed the handle and jerked it back.

He took one look at what was in front of him, having his stomach churn completely upside down, turned around and vomited into a luckily positioned trash can located next to the edge of the freezers.

He stared there for a second, breathing heavily, with tears running down his face as he once again turned back to Tony

Was he really seeing this?

This human-shaped collection of black embers and decay had really once been his best friend?

His protector, his mentor, his Senior Field agent… the person he could depend on…?

This…

This was Tony?

"Tony, what happened to you?"

Nothing but the sound of his own breath followed his words.

"You… you were always there for me, through thick and thin. Every case…"

McGee looked down at his hands as tears collected on the edge of his lashes.

"You remember when I thought that I had shot and killed that man? I swore that I would never forgive myself for what I did… I… I confessed to murdering him." He breathed slowly. "But not you. No, you were convinced from the start that I was innocent. You tried to make me feel better. What you said… it meant a lot to me."

"I…" He felt himself redden at the ears, one of his many signs of embarrassment.. "I love you, Tony. Like a brother."

He slowly pushed the bench into place, taking one last look before turning his back to Tony and leaving the past behind him.

Unbeknownst to him, Gibbs walked away then, slowly closing the door to the autopsy room as he left, shaking his head slowly at the impossible thing he was going to have to say.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I didn't want to make this story <em>too<em> emotionally overpowering... But, at the same time, not having ****_enough _emotion is a bad thing as well... I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything except my best.  
>Regardless, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!<strong>

**Reviews/ Watches/ Favorites are greatly appreciated and reassure me that people are actually reading this. *cough, cough, wink, wink, nudge, nudge* ;)  
><strong>


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: ...**

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><p>Chapter 7<p>

McGee sighed as the elevator slowly made its way down.

He had done it.

He had said his farewell to Tony.

So why did he still feel empty inside?

Why did he feel like his body was just an empty shell?

The elevator stopped, way too early for it to have been his floor. He sighed as he looked away from the door, not wanting whoever it was that was going to enter to see his rather depressing expression.

"McGee."

His head snapped up at the voice.

"Boss?"

Gibbs nodded slowly.

"What are you doing here, McGee?"

"Um, I, uh…" He glanced away, another tear threatening to escape his eye. "Tony…" He mumbled softly. Gibbs nodded in understatement before pressing the 'Emergency Stop' button located on the elevator.

"McGee, listen. I have to talk to you about something… I'd rather not, but I don't have a choice in the matter." Tim glanced at him, a singular eyebrow raised. "As you know, Tony was my Senior Field Agent."

McGee lowered his head when he realized where the conversation was heading.

"You… you want me to replace Tony?"

"Replace? No. What I want you to do is honor him by doing his job, which he loved with all of his heart."

"I-I can't, boss. I can't sit at his desk. I can't do his job. I can't be Tony!"

"I don't want you to be Tony, McGee. I want you to be yourself; I want you to be Timothy McGee, from 'Probie' to Senior Field Agent." McGee felt yet another tear run down his face at the mention of Tony's nickname for him.

He leaned forward the pushed the button, turning the elevator back on.

"I'll think about it." He responded harshly as the door opened, a barrage of tears letting loose the second he was out of sight.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Guys... I need your help. I have two endings written out fully for this fanfiction... and I can't decide which one I like better. I don't know if I would be allowed to upload both... nor how I would be able to do that... but I feel like I can't choose between the two of them...<br>One idea I had was to upload the two endings as two separate stories, and put their links on here...**

**Could you guys please review and tell me what you think? Please? Otherwise I may never upload either ending...  
><strong>


	9. Chapter 8A

**Author's Note: Early release. Because I love you all. So much. You have no idea how much the reviews meant. T_T**

**Anyways, as said earlier, there are two endings (A and B). **

**EACH ENDING HAS MORE THEN JUST ONE CHAPTER. THIS FANFICTION ISN'T QUITE OVER YET.**

**I'll upload versions A and B at the same time, since they're going to be the same length chapter-wise.  
><strong>

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><p><span>Chapter 8 (A)<span>

"Have you decided yet, Agent McGee?" Jenny questioned as he made his way slowly into her room.

"I have." He nodded, slowly. "I… I'm going to accept the job offer… In memory of Tony."

"Agent McGee, I know this is hard, but I feel that you have made the right choice."

"Just so we're clear, Ms. Shepard," McGee replied, saying the director's name with no emotion in his voice. "I'm not doing this because of you. I don't really care whether or not you think I made the right decision. The only thing that matters is that **I **know I made the right decision." He replied harshly. "I'm going to take the job, in honor and memory of Tony, but if it weren't for that, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat."

"I'm glad to know that you will be staying with us, McGee."

He said nothing as he walked to the slightly open windows, staring outside for a while. The gentle breeze that slowly came in from outside brushed against his suit jacket, causing it to slowly ripple according to the wind.

After a short bit of silence, he turned and glared at her.

"Yeah, well, the only thing I'm glad of is the fact that my respect for Tony means more to me then my hatred for you as of right now." He turned to face her coldly. "I'm never going to forgive you. To me, you are and will always be at fault for Tony's death." Tim replied coldly as he handed her the Senior Field Agent contract before turning and walking out of the room, barely finding the strength to close the door as he left.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: So there it is. Ending A is the ending in which McGee accepts the Senior Field Agent slot. But what could possibly happen in Ending B? (Hm. Gee. I wonder...)<strong>

**Whatever you guys wanna do is fine. If you guys wanna read A and B at the same time, go ahead. If you wanna read all of A and then go back and read B, that's fine as well. Just so long as you're enjoying reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. :D **


	10. Chapter 8B

**Author's Note: Early release. Because I love you all. So much. You have no idea how much the reviews meant. T_T**

**Anyways, as said earlier, there are two endings (A and B). **

**EACH ENDING HAS MORE THEN JUST ONE CHAPTER. THIS FANFICTION ISN'T QUITE OVER YET.**

**I'll upload versions A and B at the same time, since they're going to be the same length chapter-wise.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 8 (B)<span>

"Have you decided yet, Agent McGee?" Jenny questioned as he made his way silently into her room.

"I have." He nodded, slowly. "I can't take it."

"Agent McGee. I know this is hard, but make sure you don't do something you'll regret…"

"I know damn well what I'm doing." He interrupted, unable to control his building anger. "And I know I won't regret it."

"I'm sure that DiNozzo would've wanted you to-"

"DiNozzo? I'm sorry; did you mean DiNardo? Because that's probably when he was the most important to you, when he was figuring out information about your father's supposed killer!" McGee glared at her. "And don't you think, for a second, you know Tony better then I do. Tony would've wanted what's best for me."

"You think that staying a Junior Agent is best?"

"No." McGee responded, shaking his head.

"No." He continued. "What's best for me is to not work here. I can't work under my brother's murderer."

"Your… brother? Who was-?" McGee flashed the most murderous look he's ever possessed as he slammed the three objects in his jacket pocket onto the desk in front of him.

"Tony was!" McGee roared as he stormed out of the room, leaving his gun, badge, and N.C.I.S. I.D. at Ms. Shepard's desk.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: So there it is. Ending B is the ending in which McGee refuses the Senior Field Agent slot. But what could possibly happen in Ending A? (Hm. Gee. I wonder...)<strong>

**Whatever you guys wanna do is fine. If you guys wanna read B and A at the same time, go ahead. If you wanna read all of B and then go back and read A, that's fine as well. Just so long as you're enjoying reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. :D **


	11. Chapter 9A

**Author's Note**: **You guys didn't think this fanfiction was over with those last chapters, did you? The separate endings are longer then just one chapter. I thought I said that, but the way some of you were reviewing the last chapters... I don't know, I guess I was confusing.**

**Regardless, here is chapter 9A! The 'final' chapter of this fanfiction!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 9 (A)<span>

_"So, you're going to honor me now, huh?" _Tim nodded slowly, looking over his right shoulder to the spirit next to him, who was turning to him with a grin.

"Yeah. I never thought I would say this, but I'm Gibbs's Senior Field Agent now." Tim responded, looking at the ground while he did so.

_"I'm proud of you, Probie." _Tony exclaimed as he put a supporting hand onto Tim's shoulder. _"You've earned this job."_

"No I haven't." Tim replied, his eyes not leaving the ground in front of him. "You should be here, you should still be the Senior Field Agent, and I should still be your Probie!"

They both glanced away from each other, not due to any argument of sorts, just neither believing what the other was implying.

The silence hung heavy over their heads. Every time one of them would make an attempt to break it, something would catch in his throat, and he would turn back and look away.

Suddenly, Tim felt another tear roll gently down his face, the single drop of water ran slowly down, leaving a thin trail, unseen by the human eye. Tim hadn't even noticed it.

Tim felt a hand placed on his shoulder. He turned to see Tony give him a reassuring nod. He nodded back with a soft smile.

_"Tim… were you being serious? You'd rather be a Junior Field Agent then Senior?"_

"Yeah, Tony, I am." Tim responded with a slight smile. "If I had a choice between being Gibbs's Senior Field Agent or your Junior Field Agent, Id' pick the latter every time."

Tony looked stunned as he slowly drew away.

"_Thanks… Tim. That means a lot."_

McGee nodded slowly.

They sat for a while; the comfortable silence was like a time of bonding for the two.

Time flew by and at the same time it dragged on, each second felt like an eternity and yet each second seemed to go by way too quickly.

Seconds turned to minutes that soon turned to an hour.

_"It's your time, Tim."_ Tony spoke suddenly.

Tim turned to him, confused.

_"It's your time to shine in the spotlight."_

Tim nodded, barely noticing the look of sadness Tony wore on his face.

_"My time… is almost over."_

"Your time?" Tim questioned, confused. "What time? You're already dead!"

This couldn't be happening, could it?

_"I'm sorry, Tim. But… it looks like I have to say good-bye…"_

McGee noticed pieces of Tony fading in and out of visibility.

Tony… was fading?

"Tony… I don't understand…"

_"You don't expect me to stay here forever, do you, McGee?" _Tony questioned, moving until he was standing in front of Tim. _"Kate's waiting for me." _He paused. _"And so is mom…"_

"Tony… you can't go! What will I do without you?" Tim questioned, the barrage of tears slowly beginning to break free of their chains.

_"Live." _Tony responded, slowly sitting down next to him. Tim glanced at Tony, the tears staying where they are. _"Promise me, Tim. Promise me you won't spend the rest of your life mourning for me. You have to move on, you have to live your life." _Tony slowly stood up. _"That's my last order as your Senior Field Agent."_

"Tony… I… I promise." Tim had to force himself to not move his eyes away from the now fading entity in front of him.

_"A movie quote escapes me now." _Tony stated, shaking his head slowly. _"Read one for me at my funeral, Tim, promise?"_

Tim nodded.

"I will."

_"Thanks." _Tony looked up before glancing at Tim one final time.

_"Farewell… Probie."_

And Tim watched, through blurry eyes, as the spirit in front of him whisked away into nothingness. And he cried, cried until the point where there were no more tears burning in his eyes, nothing but choking sobs and ragged breaths that escaped his mouth.

That was the first time Timothy McGee has ever cried without the tears.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: And, suddenly, the title makes sense.<strong>

**I want to thank each and every one of you guys. A few people specifically.**

**First, my editor, who, since she does not have a fanfiction account, will simply go by the name, Lauren. She's awesome, and, without her, this *points at fanfiction account and all stories on it* would not exist.**

**Second off, each and every one of you who reviewed/ favorite-ed/ watched me and or this story. You have no idea how encouraged I feel whenever I see an e-mail from this site in my inbox.**

**And for those of you who have read this and haven't done any of those, thanks go to you as well for reading and enjoying this story just as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**Thank you all! :)  
><strong>


	12. Chapter 9B

**Author's Note**: **You guys didn't think this fanfiction was over with those last chapters, did you? The separate endings are longer then just one chapter. I thought I said that, but the way some of you were reviewing the last chapters... I don't know, I guess I was confusing.**

****Regardless, here is chapter 9B! The 'final' chapter of this fanfiction!****

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 9 (B)<span>

_ "You're sure about this decision?" _ Tim glanced to his right, and nodded to Tony.

"I am. I can't continue to work at NCIS. Not after what they did to you." Tim shook his head slowly. "I can't work for your killers."

_ "Well, if that's the case, then I'll stand by your decision as well, Tim." _Tony turned to grin at him. _"I'm with you every step of the way, Tim."_

"Thanks. Tony… that means a lot." Tim responded, turning to face away from Tony, trying to hide a tear slowly beginning to snake down his cheek.

He felt two strong arms wrap around his back. Too stunned to say anything, he remained quiet.

_"I want to thank you, Tim." _Tim turned his head to face behind him, to stare straight back at Tony's eyes. _"It must've taken a lot of courage to come and visit me."_

"Anything for you, Tony." Tim replied, nodding slowly. Slowly, Tim felt Tony remove the arms from him. He turned around to face Tony. "I'd do anything for you."

_ "You can't mean that." _Tony replied as he shook his head. _"Why would you say that?"_

"Because it's the truth, Tony." McGee replied warmly. "You've done so much for me these past five years at NCIS… ever since day one. Tony… you're like my big brother."

_"Kinda heard that one before, Tim." _Tony replied, laughing softly. McGee glanced at him questioningly for a moment, before widening his eyes when he realized what Tony meant.

"You were there?"

_"You were talking to my corpse, Tim. Kinda had to."_

Corpse.

McGee mentally shook the thought out of his head as he felt himself blush once again.

"R-right. Yeah, of course."

They sat for a while; the comfortable silence was like a time of bonding for the two.

Time flew by and at the same time it dragged on, each second felt like an eternity and yet each second seemed to go by way too quickly.

Seconds turned to minutes that soon turned to an hour.

_"It's time, Tim."_ Tony spoke suddenly.

Tim turned to him, confused.

_"It's time to shine in your own spotlight. It's time for you to live the life you've always wanted to live."_

Tim nodded, barely noticing the look of sadness Tony wore on his face.

_"My time… is almost over."_

"Your time?" Tim questioned, confused. "What time? You're already dead!"

This couldn't be happening, could it?

_"I'm sorry, Tim. But… it looks like I have to say good-bye…"_

McGee noticed pieces of Tony fading in and out of visibility.

Tony… was fading?

"Tony… I don't understand…"

_"You don't expect me to stay here forever, do you, McGee?" _Tony questioned, moving until he was standing in front of Tim. _"Kate's waiting for me." _He paused. _"And so is mom…"_

"Tony… you can't go! What will I do without you?" Tim questioned, the barrage of tears slowly beginning to break free of their chains.

_"Live." _Tony responded, slowly sitting down next to him. Tim glanced at Tony, the tears staying where they are. _"Promise me, Tim. Promise me you won't spend the rest of your life mourning for me. You have to move on, you have to live your life." _Tony slowly stood up. _"That's my last order as your older brother, Tim."_

"Tony… I… I promise." Tim had to force himself to not move his eyes away from the now fading entity in front of him.

_"A movie quote escapes me now." _Tony stated, shaking his head slowly. _"Read one for me at my funeral, Tim, promise?"_

Tim nodded.

"I will."

_"Thanks." _Tony looked up before glancing at Tim one final time.

_"Farewell… bro."_

And Tim watched, through blurry eyes, as the spirit in front of him whisked away into nothingness. And he cried, cried until the point where there were no more tears burning in his eyes, nothing but choking sobs and ragged breaths that escaped his mouth.

That was the first time Timothy McGee has ever cried without the tears.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: And, suddenly, the title makes sense.<strong>

**I want to thank each and every one of you guys. A few people specifically.**

**First, my editor, who, since she does not have a fanfiction account, will simply go by the name, Lauren. She's awesome, and, without her, this *points at fanfiction account and all stories on it* would not exist.**

**Second off, each and every one of you who reviewed/ favorite-ed/ watched me and or this story. You have no idea how encouraged I feel whenever I see an e-mail from this site in my inbox.**

**And for those of you who have read this and haven't done any of those, thanks go to you as well for reading and enjoying this story just as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**Thank you all! :)**


	13. Epilogue A

**Author's Note: You all thought this was done? PSH! I always try to stretch my stories as far as possible! (Hope that doesn't annoy you all too much...)**

* * *

><p><span>Epilogue (A)<span>

"You got the camera, Probie?" He questioned, glancing down the hill as he saw the younger man walk up towards him.

"On my way, boss." The other agent responded slowly, holding up the camera as he did so.

Tim grinned.

Maybe he was turning into Tony.

But if he was, then it was to honor and remember his name.

"Alright, now, what can you tell me about the crime scene?" Tim questioned.

And McGee listened to the younger man's response, and as he did, he turned to Gibbs, who, for the first time in a long while, gave him a quick smirk.

And Tim swore, that when he listened hard enough, he could hear the sound of Tony's laughter echoing across the grassy plains.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Short, but, hey. It's an epilogue. I just got the idea and figured 'why not?'<strong>

**With this, Crying Without the Tears Ending: A is offically over! I hope you all enjoyed this story! **

**My thanks to all of those who showed your support by reviewing/ watching/ favoriting... or just reading! **

**Your continued support has meant so much to me. Thank you! **


	14. Epilogue B

**Author's Note: You all thought this was done? PSH! I always try to stretch my stories as far as possible! (Hope that doesn't annoy you all too much...)**

* * *

><p><span>Epilogue (B)<span>

Tim sighed contently as he leaned back in his writing chair. He glanced to the stack of papers on the right of his desk.

235 pages.

With a grin, he picked up the top piece of the pile. When he saw it, he frowned softly.

It was page 1.

Turning back to the typewriter, he let out a sigh as he put another sheet of paper into the top of the typewriter before writing out the title:

Deep Six

The Adventures of Agent Tommy and Agent McGregor:

Very Special Agents, Very Special Brothers

Tim glanced up from the book and stared at the night sky from his window.

And he swore, if he looked hard enough, he could see Tony's face form within the stars, staring right back at him with that grin.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Short, but, hey. It's an epilogue. I just got the idea and figured 'why not?'<strong>

**With this, Crying Without the Tears Ending: B is offically over! I hope you all enjoyed this story! **

**My thanks to all of those who showed your support by reviewing/ watching/ favoriting... or just reading! **

**Your continued support has meant so much to me. Thank you! **


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